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| being on birth contol can cause water retention, right?
maybe thats what my problem is...
i dont feel any bigger than i did during the summer, but im 10lbs heavier. i was talking to my friend about it, saying i dont understand why i weight so much more when i almost actually feel slimmer...hmmm.
ive got a bigger problem with the pill though.
its the fact that you have to take one every day
and i never do.
last month my bf came home for winter break and we didnt 'plan' on doing anything that night, but it ended up so. well i hadnt been taking my birth control becuase i didnt see the point in it. plus i figured he always uses protection so we're fine.
it broke.
and i missed it last month. ironically this is all happening during the whole Jamie Lynn Spears incident and all i ever hear about is, "what kind of 16 year old girl gets pregnant with their 19 year old boy friend that she met at CHURCH?"
but our situation is completely different...im 17 and we didnt met at church, we met at our Catholic school. well fuck. | | |
| okay im serious this time.
theres a huge frat party in two weeks
and im surprising my on again, off again bf.
and ya...
so this is time to stop playing.
tomorrow's food plan:
[B] - grapefruit (76), black coffee (0)
[S] - 9 baby carrots (35), 2 rice cakes (90)
[L] - cooked spinach (20), protein bar (290), 1 cup V8 juice (60)
[S] - 4 raw egg whites (68), 1 banana (105)
[D] - 1 can tuna (150), cooked spinach (20)
TOTAL = 914 i know its actually kinda a lot of calories, but atleast i wont be starving at the end of the day....
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| wow...its been like, 4 months since ive been on here?
crazy...
well im still in high school and it sucks :[[
especially cause my bf and most of my friends are in college
scratch that...he's not exactly my boyfriend anymore.
we're basically exclusive, although he says he doesnt want to have a gf in college... whatever. we visit all the time and he says he's clean so i trust him. maybe i shouldnt, but i figure what i dont know won't hurt me. hahaa.
plus he drinks like every night... and trust me, hes a loud drunk. and disfunctional too i mean LOUD. he says that he blows like all of his chances cause he drinks and his hands are always tied anyways...
but for MEEE? hahaaa.... i suppose i havent techinaclly done anything wrong. but damn, give a girl a break. she's stuck in a school of 300 kids, what's there to do? tricky part is that we both work at af, so one of the guys might slip to him, but i doubt it. besides he'll be too wasted anyways. so what exactly IS cheating?...and is it cheating in our circumstance? i just do it to pass the time and its something that all girls do...get attention and make guys do what you want. big surprise. but tomorrow i am starting
The Master Cleanser
sounds intimidating... it recommends being on it for atleast 10 days. hopefully i can do that. in a PERFECT world i'd like to stay on it until thanksgiving, go off for one day and back on for a few more. but im really aiming for atleast november 16 which is ten days exactly cause thats when im going down to visit the boy in college! yay! i havent seen him since last sunday (2 days ago), but i have to wait 11 more days which will be the longest yet becuase its Dad's Weekend so hes staying down there and i have to stay here.
but i wish everyone the best of luck with all their diets, and hopefully i'll remember how to make my way through xanga once again! 
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| so tomorrow is my last final the one thing that stands between me and
SUMMMMERR. foods been good.
well food hasnt, but weight has
idk, my metabolism has just seemed to spike
like i can eat anything and not gain
idk..or maybe its cause ive been excersing a hell of a lot more. but either way...
i think i'll fast tomorrow
just cause it makes me feel good
or atleast til dinner or so
cause we're celebrating summer
woohoooo! yeah, getting fucked up one night & passing out
laying around the next day at my friends in his pool
then getting bucked again and passing out.
seriously, best way to start summer.
plus i think my boy will be there....
i havent seen him in forever it feels like
okay, 10 days but thats still a lot.
plus im leaving next week for 10 days
so i really do need to let loose and have some fun.
but yeah, should stuuudy now. PEACE & good luck to everyone else taking finals
and luck on losing weight to lose w/o finals. 
in twenty years from now you'll be disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did
| | |
| well we're together again..
kinda. everything going good.
yesterday i didnt talk to him cause we had separate
graduations to go to,
wont lie, i missed him.
but this weekend im doing it flyyyy and solo
i dont want to go back and be dependant on him anymore
during the time when we were apart i grew so much
i realized what i deserve and not to settle for less
ive been so hit and miss with food lately
its like i start off so well, then do bad
or the opposite lol.
ive taken laxatives to make sure my weight stays down
so far its working pretty well
this weekend we have a tournament
so that means HELLA excerise
and i hardly eat anything so thats good too
tomorrow night i work til close
i'll be so tired i wont want to eat anything and just sleep
...well i hope lol
the boy is trying to get his shift changed to closing tomorrow too
which would be hella nice.
someone to talk to when folding those thousands of clothes
people throw onto the tables...
and yes, we do have to fold each one and it sucks.
but then AFTERWARDS...
which really when i think about it,
its the weekend so my parents wouldnt care
but its nice for the week nights
hangout with him after and just say your working.
perfect plan-- ooh,
and i want my DAMN REPUBLICS already
i need my pay cheeeeck. 
she make it hard to copy
always tight, never sloppy
and got an entourage
and her own paparazzi
cause it is what it is
errybody wanna love her
but when she pop it boy
you better run for cover.
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